As adolescence obliges, my son, relatively dutiful, easy-going, threw in the towel! He no longer wants to hear anything about God and I am at a loss. I pray and trust God will quickly turn things around. It’s a rough patch… for him and for me. And yet, the years pass… The situation is getting worse and worse. I can’t stand it anymore… I have to learn to let go…
“Oh God, make it change! Please! Do this… do that… but what did I do wrong?! etc.”
My lamentations went on an on… nothing changed
My lamentations went on an on… and nothing seems to change.
As I read the Epistle of James, one verse in particular catches my attention:
“You ask, and you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” James 4:3
It took me 13 years to understand and to finally ask God the right question:
“How do you want me to pray for my son, Lord?”
The answer literally sprung into my mind:
“Bless him, bless him with the knowledge of truth and obedience! That’s all.”
Bless him… bless her, bless them… It’s a way for me to let go
For me, giving my situation, this instruction was clear: it is important that I bless my son, whatever the cost, no matter how many times he sends me packing with my “Jesus talk”, even when he shows signs of having lost the biblical meaning of faith. I can only count on Jesus who is the Truth, the Way and the Life, because only He, by His Holy Spirit, is able to reveal to my son how to come back to Him.
What has been the result?
A marvellous peace then takes over my whole body! I feel free, the oppressive sadness is gone! Finally, I can let go and make way to allow God to move. For two years I bless my son, in the name of Jesus, with the knowledge of truth and obedience.
One morning, as I wake up, a dream, or rather a thought or a vision, lingers in the back of my mind: I see my son on a stage in a large hall, speaking to hundreds of people and giving his testimony.
On the way
During his last visits, I had indeed noticed a change. He was able to look me in the eye again. He was smiling at me! And that’s not all! He asked me to play a CD with Christian songs. After a very pleasant meal, we shared nice moments together. It had been a long time since I had felt his presence like this.
One day, after one of these visits, the phone rang:
“Mom, I’m on the path.”
I didn’t know what to say, my heart was overflowing with gratitude and joy!
Given my silence, he continues:
“I am on the RIGHT path! Do you understand?”
Of course I understand!
A few days later, he tells me what had happened.
A friend had invited him to a “I believe” meeting in Bienne. During the message, he had received the conviction that the time was “now”, that he had to make a decision.
Sometime later, he was invited to give his testimony, on stage in a large hall, in front of hundreds of people! His words were:
“Parents, if you have children who have strayed from God, pray! My Mom prayed for me for 15 years, while I did the stupidest things.”
Since then, my son often tells me:
“I seek to know the truth and obey God!”
Let go… praying with good motives and receiving an answer
I think that prayer cannot be improvised, no matter how noble our motivations may be. Letting go and making way for God to move is a long-term learning process. For me anyway.
May the grace of God surround you and may my testimony encourage you, dear sister, dear brother in Jesus Christ. Arianne